I'm sorry. I don't have any personal responsibility for these things, except that I have watched my fair share of them over the years. So, on the heels of that information, I wish to extend an apology for the scores of awful and unneeded trilogies that have pervaded the market recently.
This statement leads to my question at the beginning? Do good things really come in threes? I can think of one obvious mistake that happened in threes...Three's Company!
What I mean is simply this: A hit movie doesn't require a sequel, or even a third installment just because the same characters are in it. Another example of this type of excess: The Land Before Time.
Honestly, shouldn't these characters be extinct now, or at least shouldn't we see civilization by now...I think that we're up to Land Before Time 24. Hey, cool tie in: Jack Bauer doesn't want the dinosaurs to become extinct, because that would be a national security risk...Sorry, rat hole there, and I couldn't avoid stepping in it.
But Really!!! I am getting a little tired of sequels by now...Like the Matrix. I thought that the first one was great, and the next two were exciting in their visual elements, but I could have done without them. I don't know, maybe I'm just comparing everything to one of the all time great trilogies ever. Lord of The Rings...well now I've done it. I've revealed my inner geek, and he's standing there with his pimples, a miniature sword, and a dragon on his desk.
That's all for now...Thank you.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Woo Hoo!!! or should I say Yahoo!
I don't know how better to say this than these folks did here so I will let them take the story. Microsoft is getting the boot on their bid to buy Yahoo, so I'm safe for now. As this blog will reveal at various times in the 128 part series entitled "Why I'm a geek!", I love Apple and hold a special level of angst for Microsoft.
For those of you who are worried at this point, don't be concerned. There will not be any attempts on my part to convert you to apple, nor will I put any direct links to their website on my site (elppa evol i)!
In other news, I am announcing another regular feature that will be coming from this site. Whenever there is news/a person/an ethnic group/an organization/etc./Roman empirical senators or current ones/anyone running for president that does something particularly noticeable, they will receive a wooden spoon and will be added to the race. At the end of the year there will be quorum and a vote contributed by anyone who wishes but ultimately arbited by us at Wooden Spoons for the winner of the Gnarly, which will be an old wooden spoon that I will attempt to send to their house.
In related news, Bill Gates is the first recipient of a Wooden Spoon. Good job, and happy hunting to everyone else! Don't worry, with it being a political year, you all have a chance.
That is all. Thank you.
For those of you who are worried at this point, don't be concerned. There will not be any attempts on my part to convert you to apple, nor will I put any direct links to their website on my site (elppa evol i)!
In other news, I am announcing another regular feature that will be coming from this site. Whenever there is news/a person/an ethnic group/an organization/etc./Roman empirical senators or current ones/anyone running for president that does something particularly noticeable, they will receive a wooden spoon and will be added to the race. At the end of the year there will be quorum and a vote contributed by anyone who wishes but ultimately arbited by us at Wooden Spoons for the winner of the Gnarly, which will be an old wooden spoon that I will attempt to send to their house.
In related news, Bill Gates is the first recipient of a Wooden Spoon. Good job, and happy hunting to everyone else! Don't worry, with it being a political year, you all have a chance.
That is all. Thank you.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Interview Time
We at Wooden Spoons Are Bad have been approached by a fellow blogger known as Flannery Alden for the purposes of an interview. We haven't granted many interview requests in the past (Read=Never) but this will be the first of many, including interviews that we will conduct regarding any topic that leads to complete world knowledge.
In the spirit of the interview:
Why did you start this blog? What’s it all about anyway?
Thank you for your question. I started this blog in an effort to expose the cruelity and oppression associated with objects that only have one purpose. The world has too many unitasker tools and widgets, so we have decided to break the world of that habitual need for things that only accomplish one thing. Oh...I'm sorry, I think we were talking about the blog...Well, I don't like wooden spoons, especially becase of the way that they feel on my tongue. So I thought that I should tell the world about it.
What is your favorite sandwich and why?
My favorite sandwich, without question, is the original double-double animal style from In-n-Out Burgers. There is a no better burger ever created in the entire world. Period. End of story. Finite`...oh, maybe I should stop.
Describe a defining moment in the development of your sense of humor.
I was over at my grandma and grandpa's house, and grandpa was watching "Blazing Saddles". That pretty much defined where I was going as a humorist. As they say, I am pleased to extend to you this Laurel and Hardy handshake to our new n-----.
As a musician and an epicurean, can you tell us what your favorite music tastes like and what your favorite food sounds like?
My, that is a great question. Ok...my favorite music tastes slightly dusty, with hints of smoke, whisky, and a salt and pepper crust. My favorite food sounds like this: CRRUUUNNNCCCHHHH!Ker-plunk...and boink...
If you were up for a Best New Artist and Best Album Grammy, what would you wear to the awards show and would you prepare a speech? If so, what would the highlights be?
As this is a forgone conclusion, I will be happy to share my plans for this occasion. I have been secretly tasking a small town in the Andes to build me a tuxedo worthy of the event. It is all black, with miniscule tears woven into it by the villagers who have inspired the song. This song is entitled "Yo (I)" and features a band put together of some of the greatest musicians of all time, through blackmail.
The tuxedo is accompanied by a top hat, tails, white tie, and a monacle.
My speech will hit the following highlights:
1. the fall of the Roman Empire
2. the rise of the Ottoman Empire
3. the discovery of chocolate as a currency
4. etc.
5. thank you's to the various people who have been in the way, er I mean helped me on my way
Thank you for your questions, I will now take comments.
That is all.
In the spirit of the interview:
Why did you start this blog? What’s it all about anyway?
Thank you for your question. I started this blog in an effort to expose the cruelity and oppression associated with objects that only have one purpose. The world has too many unitasker tools and widgets, so we have decided to break the world of that habitual need for things that only accomplish one thing. Oh...I'm sorry, I think we were talking about the blog...Well, I don't like wooden spoons, especially becase of the way that they feel on my tongue. So I thought that I should tell the world about it.
What is your favorite sandwich and why?
My favorite sandwich, without question, is the original double-double animal style from In-n-Out Burgers. There is a no better burger ever created in the entire world. Period. End of story. Finite`...oh, maybe I should stop.
Describe a defining moment in the development of your sense of humor.
I was over at my grandma and grandpa's house, and grandpa was watching "Blazing Saddles". That pretty much defined where I was going as a humorist. As they say, I am pleased to extend to you this Laurel and Hardy handshake to our new n-----.
As a musician and an epicurean, can you tell us what your favorite music tastes like and what your favorite food sounds like?
My, that is a great question. Ok...my favorite music tastes slightly dusty, with hints of smoke, whisky, and a salt and pepper crust. My favorite food sounds like this: CRRUUUNNNCCCHHHH!Ker-plunk...and boink...
If you were up for a Best New Artist and Best Album Grammy, what would you wear to the awards show and would you prepare a speech? If so, what would the highlights be?
As this is a forgone conclusion, I will be happy to share my plans for this occasion. I have been secretly tasking a small town in the Andes to build me a tuxedo worthy of the event. It is all black, with miniscule tears woven into it by the villagers who have inspired the song. This song is entitled "Yo (I)" and features a band put together of some of the greatest musicians of all time, through blackmail.
The tuxedo is accompanied by a top hat, tails, white tie, and a monacle.
My speech will hit the following highlights:
1. the fall of the Roman Empire
2. the rise of the Ottoman Empire
3. the discovery of chocolate as a currency
4. etc.
5. thank you's to the various people who have been in the way, er I mean helped me on my way
Thank you for your questions, I will now take comments.
That is all.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
This is what I am thinking about now at 6:00 pm.
So with all my "free" time I have had not blogging-oops-I have actually been able to watch TV!! I am actually quite busy. I have discovered a new show from HBO called Flight of the Conchords. I would encourage you to check it out if you like Napoleon Dynamite like humor. Its about a two man band from New Zealand that comes to New York to make it. I don't know what it is about that country but it seems in many ways that they are behind. I have seen a "revival" in 80's sweatshirts and in the show there is a commercial for the telephone! What?! The world is moving so fast! Thanks Adam for the intro to the show.
I have to admit I have been wanting sushi all the time. I am a wimp though-not too much raw at this point. The texture is not my thing. I really love all kinds of food. I wonder how people can eat the same things and not get bored. I say if you are gonna eat all the calories-make it worth it!
I have to admit I have been wanting sushi all the time. I am a wimp though-not too much raw at this point. The texture is not my thing. I really love all kinds of food. I wonder how people can eat the same things and not get bored. I say if you are gonna eat all the calories-make it worth it!
Monday, February 4, 2008
New and improved
Well, well, well. The wooden spoons gang is ready for anything it appears. Now we're ready to start posting from home...so this will be promising for y'all. As lent is approaching, I also wanted to take a moment to let you know what I'm giving up this year.
Beef and pork...wow, I can feel my stomach thanking me already...to celebrate (er...prepare) I made a breakfast casserole tonight which included lots of sausage...we'll have to eat it all tonight and tomorrow so I don't break my lenten promise.
That's all for now...30 % less fat, and medically proven to regrow hair, in accordance with the prophecy.
Beef and pork...wow, I can feel my stomach thanking me already...to celebrate (er...prepare) I made a breakfast casserole tonight which included lots of sausage...we'll have to eat it all tonight and tomorrow so I don't break my lenten promise.
That's all for now...30 % less fat, and medically proven to regrow hair, in accordance with the prophecy.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Whoa...way too much caffeine
As I was drinking down my third cup of coffee in two hours, many thoughts came into my head; no seriously, there were literally a thousand thoughts running through my head. Here are some, in no particular order (as they weren't in any order at all in my head):
"do I smell like coffee?"
"what time is it in Abu Dhabi?"
"which club should I use with 176 yards to the pin and a north/northwest crosswind playing out of the rough?"
"I think that Paul Simon is slightly crazy...did you hear Kodachrome?"
"dodgeball should be a professional sport"
"I like what my coworker is doing with that flame graphic"
"when is it time to switch the shower curtain?"
"I hope my new glasses come in sometime soon!"
"We're getting internet at the house...holy blogging batman"
"I should be thinking about this game for the conference"
Anyway, I hope that you aren't too scared by that look into my head this morning...it's sort of like one of my favorite movies, Being John Malkovich
That is all for now...have a great Friday!
"do I smell like coffee?"
"what time is it in Abu Dhabi?"
"which club should I use with 176 yards to the pin and a north/northwest crosswind playing out of the rough?"
"I think that Paul Simon is slightly crazy...did you hear Kodachrome?"
"dodgeball should be a professional sport"
"I like what my coworker is doing with that flame graphic"
"when is it time to switch the shower curtain?"
"I hope my new glasses come in sometime soon!"
"We're getting internet at the house...holy blogging batman"
"I should be thinking about this game for the conference"
Anyway, I hope that you aren't too scared by that look into my head this morning...it's sort of like one of my favorite movies, Being John Malkovich
That is all for now...have a great Friday!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Conspiracy Anyone?
So...I'm not big on conspiracy theories, but I couldn't pass this one up. I was talking with one of my coworkers, and we developed this story:
the hospitals are tied in with the cell phone companies? By George! Just think…cell phone companies develop a product that “may cause cancer” sending lots of people running to call their doctors for a check-up and when they try to make an appointment, random lines are “down” and numbers are unavailable. So the customer has to call around and wait on hold, thus running up minutes!
Ok...so here's your task...add to the story!
the hospitals are tied in with the cell phone companies? By George! Just think…cell phone companies develop a product that “may cause cancer” sending lots of people running to call their doctors for a check-up and when they try to make an appointment, random lines are “down” and numbers are unavailable. So the customer has to call around and wait on hold, thus running up minutes!
Ok...so here's your task...add to the story!
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